Losing weight

losing the weight is something I find myself struggling with, I currently have gained a good 18lbs in the past two years, I’d like to think that I’m still cute ,but there are days I feel not cute,😩😩😩 I’m also not very committed to one program, I payed to be trained by a professional and its been literally week 4 and I’m currently feeling like a failure because I haven’t really put my best foot forward, I was looking at older pictures of myself from 2 years ago and zI was thinking wow…. was I really happier than now, and I think its a half and half, this week I will aim to be better at staying on track…. so far its been good but its been really hard finding a balance to workout or more to enjoy the workouts , maybe because I do them alone……..

UTI’s are the worst…..

😱 omg I’m coming off a literally almost three day utility and tmi, I think I got it from overly peeing, I think the excessive of my pee caused a a bacteria causing the Uti, or me holding my pee either thing it was painful, I felt a little piece of me was dying.maybe a tad dramatic but clearly wasn’t fun at all fun at all. well that’s all I will say for now I think I’m really crashing because 👨 man I drank a soda and had a chocolate cupcake and my Brain can literally feel the tractions changing in their I almost kinda had a stressful week experiencing sadness and literally being all over the place , why me…..

Family tree equals drama

I think my ancestors are literally maybe fucking with me or…… are probably thinking, girl what mess are you trying to dig up.I will admit ,its been kinda of emotional draining little by little I feel a tad chipped away.I know a lot of info but still haven’t been able to figure out what I really wanna know more like I never knew this was what I had been wanting to know. I also been eating poorly and gosh……..my head hurts its crazy to think I was able to literally go back almost 150 years back,….. on my dads side and almost 100 years on my moms……its crazy its been very interesting to learn new information from my family as of where I come and where my life would go…..

well I truly hope my family is not pissed for looking for answers and trying to dig up stuff, I def would like to try and track where my grandmother lived as a child the thing is that Mexico has changed the name of that street now since 1938 crazy I know ahhhh head is spinning…..